It's always meant a lot to me. (Yes the dept store) When they first started sprouting up everywhere, my sister and I always referred to them as "tar-jay", implying it was some upscale french boutique. I think we really bought into that too and when we entered it, we felt like we were entering Disneyworld or some utopia. Nowadays it's a quick stop I make every week for the essentials, and always some not so essentials. I still feel a little lighter when I walk through the doors though.
But not this time. This time I was on a mission. It had been over 1 week of wondering, guessing and being so sure my period was going to start any minute. You know, when you actually go to bed with a pad on anticipating it's arrival. I did that for 1 week and alas, nothing. I wasn't nervous because I knew I couldn't be pregnant. And we were too busy in July with River's birthday party plans and family flying in, who had time to think about being pregnant. Not me. So I didn't, until my mother flew home. 2 days after River's birthday we took her to the Santa Maria airport and she urged me to stop on the way home and pick up a test.
Ok I said.
So we casually stopped at Target to pick up a few things, including a test. But when I walked though those doors, I got panic stricken. I literally ran to embarrasing aisle, grabbed the first test I saw and smuggled in into the bathroom. Heart pounding, I shut the stall door and did the deed. I took about 2.2 seconds for two blue lines to register in the first screen. I looked at the control screen: 1 for not pregnant, 2 for pregnant.
Shit I thought. Shit shit shit.
Pulled up my pants, unlocked the stall door and walked out. Pregnant. I seriously could not believe it. Dear little old Seth was waiting for me outside, tinkering with some electronic he just bought, not really paying attention to me. He glanced up, saw me and the smirk I was wearing and smiled.
No way he said. No way, can't be. I don't believe you.
Oh really? Well I have proof. Get in the car.
We loaded River up and got in the front seats and just stared at the thing.
Wow he said. How did this happen?
Not sure I said.
Then he got on me about being gross for taking a test in the bathroom. Which it was but I seriously could not endure the 15 minute car ride home. I had to know now.
So the big bullseye means a little more to me even than it did back in it's glorious uprising days. Maybe this ones name will rhyme with "tar-jay"? Blue jay perhaps. (What? Bird names are in. Nicole Richie just named her son Sparrow) Honestly, Seth and I couldn't be happier. It just took us a few days (him a few moments) to get over the shock. We are getting pretty excited about the new addition but find ourselves wondering, could we possibly love this next one as much as River?
